Hadrian's Face Offs

Gen. Wesley Clark's remarks that McCain lacks command experience are "the lowest form of politics"? Oh, I think we can go much much lower...

Hadrian vs AuContray

Started: Wed, July 02
AuContray: John McCain has lots of Legisltive experience to be the Commander in Chief. Years of time in the…

Since Pluto is now only a "dwarf planet", Mickey Mouse's dog should be adopted by Snow White.

Hadrian vs chantie08

chantie08 was the winner.

Started: Thu, June 12 - Finished: Wed, June 18

Preference for Banana Daiquiris over just Bananas: it's what makes us different from the apes.

Hadrian vs Miral150

Miral150 was the winner.

Started: Thu, June 12 - Finished: Wed, June 18

The missionary position should be declared as the official sexual position in the U.S. and should be mandatory for all residents to know and use.

Hadrian vs John McLaughlin

Started: Thu, June 12
John McLaughlin: WRONG! Jesus was a freak. His very girlfriend was a lady of the night. She did the things that all…

All adults should have to do a daily pledge of allegiance...to their spouse.

Hadrian vs Scintallus

Started: Tue, June 10
Scintallus: Do you honestly believe that the terms 'child' and 'adult', 'gay' and 'atheist' are interchangeable…

Citing the success of Maoist insurgents in bringing democracy to Nepal, President Bush invites them to help out in the Middle East.

Hadrian vs milton_john

Started: Fri, June 06
milton_john: I don't understand. You framed the topic to appear as an Onion-esque article, not a debatable topic.…

ELEPHANT-DONKEY should give everyone a pony.

Hadrian vs TheChocolateBearFactory

TheChocolateBearFactory was the winner.

Started: Fri, June 06 - Finished: Thu, June 19

McCain was correct in changing Bush's "Mission Accomplished" banner to read "Mission Accomplished - in 100 years".

Hadrian vs obama2008

Started: Fri, June 06
obama2008: Wars aren't won because it is planned to win. Every nation in history has planned on winning a war.…

The best use of the Papal Paypal: 1. Weekly Tithes? 2. Indulgences? 3. New Crusades? 4. Pedo-Priest Retirement Fund?

Hadrian vs None

Started: Fri, June 06
None: 1. Weekly Tithes, while it is practical for everyone to tithe from your home, its only a matter of…

Elephant-Donkey sucks. You can find me over on essembly.com

Hadrian vs strongleader

strongleader was the winner by forfeit.

Started: Mon, May 19 - Finished: Wed, May 21

Responsibility is out, Root Cause is in

MorgMcA vs Hadrian

MorgMcA was the winner by forfeit.

Started: Thu, May 08 - Finished: Mon, May 19

Texas Court Psychiatrist Examines Polygamist Husbands. Diagnosis: Severe Mother-in-Law Fetish!

Hadrian vs TheChocolateBearFactory

TheChocolateBearFactory was the winner.

Started: Sun, April 27 - Finished: Mon, May 05

Essembly.com is better than Elephant-Donkey.com

Antioxidant Overdose vs Hadrian

Started: Fri, April 25
Hadrian: All you "web 2.0" people and your "social networking this" and "social networking that". It's…

McCain housing bill calls for 100 year mortgages in Iraq for America's middle class.

Hadrian vs Mark

Hadrian was the winner.

Started: Tue, April 22 - Finished: Fri, April 25

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Ima Loser vs Hadrian

Hadrian was the winner by forfeit.

Started: Sat, April 19 - Finished: Sat, April 19

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Ima Loser vs Hadrian

Hadrian was the winner by forfeit.

Started: Sat, April 19 - Finished: Sat, April 19

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Ima Loser vs Hadrian

Hadrian was the winner by forfeit.

Started: Sat, April 19 - Finished: Sat, April 19

.

Ima Loser vs Hadrian

Hadrian was the winner by forfeit.

Started: Sat, April 19 - Finished: Sat, April 19

.

Ima Loser vs Hadrian

Hadrian was the winner by forfeit.

Started: Sat, April 19 - Finished: Sat, April 19

.

Hadrian vs Ima Loser

Hadrian was the winner by forfeit.

Started: Sat, April 19 - Finished: Sat, April 19

.

Hadrian vs Ima Loser

Hadrian was the winner by forfeit.

Started: Sat, April 19 - Finished: Sat, April 19

God loves abortion.

Hadrian vs twelve angry men

Hadrian was the winner.

Started: Fri, April 18 - Finished: Mon, April 28

We need to repeal the child-labor laws.

Hadrian vs TremontDemocrat

TremontDemocrat was the winner.

Started: Wed, April 16 - Finished: Sat, April 26

I prefer the lies of the main-stream media over the lies of government.

Hadrian vs TremontDemocrat

Hadrian was the winner by forfeit.

Started: Wed, April 16 - Finished: Fri, May 02

A Flintstone religion in a Jetson age?

Hadrian vs PhoenixRules

Started: Wed, April 16
Hadrian: According to current theological thinking, the Flintstones era runs from the beginning of time…

To be fair, you have to admit that the FBI did eventually stop its surveillance and harassment of Martin Luther King Jr.

Hadrian vs ilikecaptialpunishment

Started: Mon, April 14
Hadrian: Indeed, after King was assassinated, the FBI stopped trying to get King to kill himself. After…

God orders re-call of polar bears.

Hadrian vs superstaniam

Started: Sat, April 12
Hadrian: Sources huh? Sources you say? superstaniam wants sources, we give him sources! Creation: God and…

Obama/McCain or McCain/Obama.

Hadrian vs lovejones

Hadrian was the winner.

Started: Wed, April 09 - Finished: Tue, April 22

All flags in US public buildings should be replaced by tactical nuclear weapons.

Hadrian vs Zomgoose

Started: Wed, April 02
Hadrian: Your concern about London is well put and inspires a future debate: Starbucks should play SEX…

Die, Gore, die!

Hadrian vs Mark

Mark was the winner.

Started: Sun, March 30 - Finished: Thu, April 03

God originally made us out of cookie dough.

Hadrian vs TimmyMWD

Started: Fri, March 28
Hadrian: Sorry...I was off on a bender. "noodly appendage? You Pastafarians make me sick! Flying…

Sometimes, you just have to lie to children.

Hadrian vs superstaniam

superstaniam was the winner.

Started: Thu, March 27 - Finished: Thu, April 10

Invading Iraq was the BEST-EST decision EVER!

Hadrian vs ilmaestro90

Started: Thu, March 27
Hadrian: The point of this debate and the science behind it seems to escape you. Let me break it down. People…

Monday = Conservative. Friday = Liberal

Hadrian vs Junius Brutus

Started: Wed, March 26
Hadrian: Not only are your facts wrong, so is your understanding of what little you have right. "Federal…

I'm a loser

Ima Loser vs Hadrian

Hadrian was the winner by forfeit.

Started: Wed, March 26 - Finished: Wed, March 26

Invading Iraq was the BEST-EST decision EVER!

Hadrian vs 457692345653

Started: Mon, March 24
Hadrian: Now that we've done it, it was clearly the right choice. THAT, sir, is a scientific FACT! Why, even…

Iraq is not like Vietnam.

Hadrian vs base89

Hadrian was the winner.

Started: Sat, March 22 - Finished: Mon, March 24

All I got for xmas was that stupid new board game, Elephant-Donkeyland.

Hadrian vs FLIPSIDE

Hadrian was the winner.

Started: Sat, March 08 - Finished: Mon, March 24

Crosswalk signal buttons are some sort of social experiment.

Hadrian vs IamFry

Hadrian was the winner.

Started: Thu, March 06 - Finished: Fri, March 07

My President went to Iraq and all I got was this crummy t-shirt.

Hadrian vs AhavahOlam

Hadrian was the winner.

Started: Thu, March 06 - Finished: Fri, March 21

Voting early is not universally wrong.

IamFry vs Hadrian

IamFry was the winner.

Started: Wed, March 05 - Finished: Fri, March 07

Fat Americans promote Democracy!

Hadrian vs B-man

Hadrian was the winner.

Started: Wed, March 05 - Finished: Fri, March 07

I'm pleased that Bush commuted the sentence of Jesus of Nazareth.

Hadrian vs ApatheticFighter

Started: Wed, March 05
Hadrian: Um..I'm speachless. Your assertion that Mr. Nazareth stole anybody's wafer is both theologically…

The military is placing homophobia ahead of national security.

Hadrian vs shrek

Hadrian was the winner by forfeit.

Started: Wed, March 05 - Finished: Thu, March 20

No special "rites" for heterosexuals.

Hadrian vs Ronton

Hadrian was the winner.

Started: Mon, March 03 - Finished: Wed, March 05

John McCain is doubly eligible to be President.

Hadrian vs ApatheticFighter

Ended in a tie.

Started: Sun, March 02 - Finished: Wed, March 05

John Wayne walked like a girl.

Hadrian vs Antioxidant Overdose

Hadrian was the winner.

Started: Fri, February 29 - Finished: Mon, March 03

The military is placing homophobia ahead of national security.

Hadrian vs RickJS

Started: Wed, February 27
Hadrian: At a time when it and U.S. intelligence agencies don't have enough Arabic speakers, the military is…

CIA torturers need to be prosecuted...for revealing state secrets.

Hadrian vs FLIPSIDE

FLIPSIDE was the winner.

Started: Wed, February 27 - Finished: Wed, February 27

Evangelical Christians need to repent for their initial support for the Iraq War.

Hadrian vs Austhus

Austhus was the winner.

Started: Wed, February 27 - Finished: Wed, February 27

Convenience stores should provide easier access for handicapped criminals.

Hadrian vs PhilSandifer

PhilSandifer was the winner.

Started: Tue, February 26 - Finished: Tue, February 26

I'm pleased that Bush commuted the sentence of Jesus of Nazareth.

Hadrian vs RONPAULFORPREZ

Started: Tue, February 26
Hadrian: This is mocking Bush's commutation for I. Lewis Libby Jr. It's satire. A bit dated, but still an…

I support the global warming activists calling for a boycott of Baked Alaska.

Hadrian vs Skipper04

Skipper04 was the winner.

Started: Tue, February 26 - Finished: Tue, February 26

In preparation for the coming space invasion, we need to unite all humanity and end all racist humor!

Hadrian vs Save-AmeriKa

Hadrian was the winner.

Started: Tue, February 26 - Finished: Tue, February 26

If I could, I'd vote in the Texas: Primary [Agree], Caucus [Lean Agree], Primary & Caucus [Lean Against], Poopoo/Caca [Against]

Hadrian vs Antioxidant Overdose

Antioxidant Overdose was the winner by forfeit.

Started: Mon, February 25 - Finished: Thu, February 28

Hadrian's Face Off Record

  • Face Offs: 50
  • Wins: 27
  • Losses: 22
  • Ties: 1

TIME PHOTO ESSAYS

Traders' Faces

The calamitous drop in the world's markets brings fear and dread to the men and women that work the exchanges

(Michael Probst / AP)


Sharpening Minds at Chief Dull Knife College

A tribal college on a Cheyenne Reservation seeks to teach Native Americans what other schools don'tPhotographs for TIME by Kenneth Jarecke / Contact Press Images